It was Father’s Day yesterday here in US, June 17 2018.
It makes me wondered about my dad.
Of all honesty, he was not a perfect father figure.
But as I’ve grown up and see what other father figures out there, I know he was doing better than ones that I know personally.
My dad was a morning person, you would not see him ever sleep pass 9 am everyday, including weekends.
He would fix me Milo chocolate milk the way I wanted it, had me drink while I was laying in bed (I was such a spoiled AF daughter), told me to get ready to school
As a non morning person myself, I thought it was not a big of a deal.
I mean hey..isnt that what a parent has to do anyway???
it actually is a big deal.
That image of dad woke up early in the morning and got things going give me motivation, give me a whip in my a** not to sleep in when I have a kid to feed, a corporate job to do.
There’s a sense of urgency, responsibility seeing the adult in the household not being in bed by 8 am.
I also didn’t remember Dad took a nap during work hours? Even when his work place and where we lived were at the same spot.
My dad also did house chores, again in the morning he would start the laundry cycle.
After eating all of us would take care our dirty dishes to the kitchen and started washing them by hand.
I did not remember he ever left pile of sh***y dirty dishes in the kitchen or cups in our house.
I was pretty sure that he kept the eating and drinking in the dining area.
Was it a big deal?
Yes it is.
Again Dad taught me not to leave sh***y dirty dishes piling in kitchen sink and pretended they were not there.
I don’t remember dad wiped our all tiles floor-I knew mom like to ask my help to do it- but I know for sure that he would take his shoes off coming home and would not walk with them inside the house. Cause well, it’s GROSS.
And by doing taking his shoes off at least he helped us not making the floor dirtier.
Dad also never had unfinished projects around the house, when he said he’s going to do something, like fixing sink, adding concrete on driven way, etc then he would complete the whole thing, including the cleaning part.
So there was no arguments about who left the sh***y tools on the floor or why this saw dust never got vacuumed.
Dad kept his car clean, knowing that i was riding with him a lot, that was pretty amazing.
And gosh..I didn’t remember he ever blamed us, his children for making a mess in his car!
Dad was not a smoker, a gambler nor an alcoholic.
Of course he had different issues and weakness, but at least knowing he did not have any of those obvious addictions, we, as a child never had see to witness empty beer cans in the house nor picking them up nor seeing him babling non sense or changed personality from drinking too much nor smelling like ciggy all the time or watching our stuffs got sold to pay off gambling debts.
Dad paid our bills ON TIME.
There was never a fear within our family about their paychecks being garnished due to late payment or past due obligations.
I remember he once felt overwhelmed as we had a compound interest loan that was a bit not as we expected, but he managed through it (I am sure Mom helped too)
Dad was never really idling. He tried to do things around the house. I think he played game a bit on the computer but he was not the kind of perso who would sit in their a** for hours when there were OBVIOUS things to do around the house.
I am almost sure he spoiled me AF.
But that was not what made him a better father figure. I wish he was a bit harder on me to be honest.
And no, he was not the type of parent who would say “do what you want to do as long as it makes you happy”
Cause he would firmly say NO if he believed I did something wrong or would do something not in align with our values.
He was the one who sat on the terrace waiting for me to come home late at night (I was just in the mall wasting time pretty much)
Could he have done better?
Sure, anyone could.
But here’s what I know
Everyone can be a dad but not everybody can be a good father and I know now, my Dad was a better father figure….
Happy Father’s Day Dad.
I still don’t like the fact that you are gone
Thank you for showing me what a hard worker is, what a man with words mean
Hope you rest in peace